The Drifter

This is an audio sketch.

We hear the sounds of cars driving past us, as though on a highway. Crickets surge in with the ensuing silence. Desert sounds. Boots approach.

DRIFTER (VO): Hey there stranger. They tell me you like a good story. Let's see what I've got for ya. I bet you've never heard the story of Thomas Jefferson. Well, lemme tell ya all about that particular gennelman. Yah see, waaaay back in another century, there lived a jolly little woman named-- what? You've uh, you've heard that story? (pause) Oh. well. I uh, I see. Oookay, but I betcha haven't heard the story of Jesus Christ! Haha, it's a good one. Once upon a sailor's moon -- eh? You've what? You've heard that one too? Aww for the love of Pete, how is that possible! (in an aside voice) Geez, what am I supposed to do? Kids today. They've heard all the stories. Thomas Jefferson. Jesus Christ. There's nothing an old guy like me, set in his vagrant ways, can do! Oh! oh right! The third story, that's it. (back to normal voice) All right, here ya go, toughguy. Here ya go. Have you ever heard the story of you? Ha! Betcha never ever ever ever -- Eh? You....(beat.). Wait! Come back! I need this!

(his voice grows distant during this as the boots set off running)

ANNOUNCER (VO): Don't fall prey to that guy. Get your stories from the best drifters in town, at Marco & Marco Drifter Associates. We're the driftahs that don't come to getcha.

DRIFTER (VO): What about the story of storytelling?

END.