EXT. - behind a high school. Two young adults are leaning against a brick wall. They have skateboards.
KID 1: Yeah that was a killer halfpipe.
KID 2: Was not!
KID 1: Was so!
KID 2: Why I oughtta --
Enter Marthregent the Hobo.
MARTHREGENT: (high pitched creepy voice) Hey kids, got any rubbahs?
KID 1: Oh hey, Marthregent.
KID 2: Hi.
MARTHREGENT: C'mon, now, don't hold out your old pal, Marthregent! Where are the rubbahs?
KID 2: You mean condoms?
MARTHREGENT: Uhhh....don't be square, Jer: you got any rubbahs?
KID 1: Marthregent, we get it. You need protection. Prophylactics.
MARTHREGENT: Erm...rubbahs...
KID 2; Yeah, Marthregent! Why can't you just spit it out?! YOU NEED A LAYER OF ENGINEERED LATEX DESIGNED TO LUBRICATE AND PROVIDE SPERMICIDE, DON'T YOU? DON'T YOU?
MARTHREGENT: (reduced to tears) Oh oh oh, yes, yes, it's all true. It's all Trueeeeeeee!
MARTHREGENT collapses in the mud. Beat.
KIDS 1+2 laugh
KID 1: Oh, Marthregent!
KID 2: Silly, silly Marthregent.
KID 1: Of course we have rubbahs!!!!
They reach into their pockets and set loose a flock of condoms unto the air.
EVERYONE: WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!
MARTHREGENT: It's everything I evah wanted!
BLACKOUT.
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